Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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