I haven't been this sober since birth.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
