if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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