you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
