You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
