I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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