i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
