I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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