We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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