rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you had me at cake vodka
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
