This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
