so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
