Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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