I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
