just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
