Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
