Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
