so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
