Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Slut skills are useful in every country.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
