u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
