Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize