look no pants
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
