dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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