I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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