So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
