i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
