Nicole vs. Life
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
