Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
