this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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