i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
