She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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