whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
