either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My penis needs a shock collar
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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