Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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