I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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