She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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