When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
