I wish I could teleport
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
