So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
