READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
