Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize