i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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