no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm bleeding and have questions
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize