You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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