Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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