That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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