it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize