My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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