upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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