TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
