its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
