I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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