I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
