I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
