Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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