He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
