That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My penis needs a shock collar
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
