I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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