he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
