Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
do herpes really smell.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
