Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
