I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
