I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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