Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
