I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
