I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
