is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
only you would photoshop your dick
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
