It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
only you would photoshop your dick
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
