weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize