Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
