Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
