on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize