i wish there were pregnant emoticons
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
