Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
