Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
