Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
