You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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