david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
